Below is part of a Dick Suthen column. The whole piece can be found here: http://www.dicksutphen.com/webcol/w-webcoly122.html
The positive or negative qualities you react to in others are a reflection of the same qualities within you. Other people are a mirror for you to see yourself. The mirror has four primary manifestations: 1. That which you admire in others you recognize within yourself; 2. That which you resist and react to strongly in others is sure to be found within yourself; 3. That which you resist and react to in others is something you are afraid exists within you; and 4. That which you resist in yourself, you will dislike in others.
You have reincarnated to learn to rise above the effects of fear. And your fears will always be reflected in your reactions to others. Thus your goals are very obvious once you are able to perceive them clearly.
The next time an opportunity arises, examine your reactions to others by searching yourself for the corresponding traits. If your reaction is negative, it is rooted in a fear that needs to be resolved. See the people you dislike as mirrors instead of adversaries.