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Not their fault

CommentsPosted by Karin Kristensen Jun 12, 2012 10:15AM
There is so much anger and resentment connected with human relationships - especially romantic ones. It seems almost impossible to imagine a relationship that doesn't end up in "if only he/she did or didn't react this way/treat me this way". We spend an amazing amount of time complaining about our parter (or ex-partner) - usually to an audience who agrees with us.

The unpleasant truth is that we would not have been attracted to that person in the first place, if he/she didn't match our own psychological make-up. It really isn't that person's fault. They are exactly as they should be and at some point they were a perfect match for you. So blaiming them for how they behave isn't getting you anywhere.

Only by letting go of your own issues and healing your own wounds can you move on to another kind of match. If you just separate from the partner (or visa versa) and do nothing to change, you'll end up in the same situation again.

It's a waste of time being angry with your partner. They are in a twisted sort of way showing you your weak spots, showing you what you need to work with if you want things to change. If you deal with that you can move on, and they can't touch you anymore. It really has nothing to so with your partner, and they don't need to change. You do, if you don't like the way things are.

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